Big Boy Toys

In some ways it seems kinda odd that such a low-tech exercise like digging a trench is necessary for such a hi-tech convenience like the internet. And yes, I know that things like wireless internet through the cellular network and WiMax via a cellular-like infrastructure can bring modern communications to a lot of places without digging a trench to that place, but neither of them are available at my CITW. And no, I haven't forgotten that back in the day when I used to work for a living, I made a good living (which continues to this day) on the low-tech side of the very high-tech communications revolution of the 90's.

In Chelan County, as well as providing power, the Chelan County PUD (a semi-communistic power co-op) provides the fiber optic cable that various internet, CATV, and telephone providers use to compete for customers like me. Normally, the PUD would simply pull the fiber through the existing underground conduit that brings power to homes and cabins like mine. And they would do this at no cost to me! But unfortunately, my cabin was built in 1974, about the time that underground power installations were shifting from direct burial cables to cables in conduit. My cabin is fed with direct burial cables. In those cases, the PUD would trench in the new conduit for the fiber, again at no cost to me. But with recessions and budget cutbacks, the PUD no longer supplies underground conduit runs of more than 50'. The run from the road to my place is more like 150'. So after some conversations with the PUD, they offered to supply the conduit at no charge if I took care of installing it.

I leapt at the chance to rent a giant Tonka Toy and brought Hal along to join in the fun. The object was to dig a trench from the house to the utility pole by the driveway without cutting the existing power and water lines. I had a locate service mark all the underground lines and fortunately they were all on one side of the driveway. We only had to be extra careful and dig by hand in the areas right at the pole and near the house. And while we were in the digging mode, I bought a 20' culvert to install at the driveway.

If I had grown up in the video game age, operating the excavator might have come more naturally. There are two 4-way hand controlled joysticks, two 2-way foot controls, and for extra added excitement, one of the hand controls has two extra directional functions. So by my calculations, there are at least 14 different ways to move things, and all of those functions can be engaged simultaneously with any one or more of the other functions. To calculate the permutations and possibilities are beyond my limited mathematical capabilities, but trust me, the possibilities are endless!

Here's Hal at the helm. Fortunately we never came to blows about whose turn it was to be the operator and whose turn it was to portray the typical utility worker leaning on a shovel.

Now it's my turn. It takes a while to get all the moves coordinated, and then just when you think the machine has become an extension of your body, it all falls apart and you have to think about every move.

Notice the look of intense concentration. And jeez... is my gut really that big? I guess that's what happens when I haven't played racquetball for three months. But then again, if I ever have to rejoin the labor force, I could get a dirty wife-beater T-shirt, some tattoos and a cigar so I could pass as a heavy equipment operator.

The trench has a nice graceful curve to it, don't you think?

Amazingly enough, we managed to install both the conduit and the culvert without breaking anything. I tried to use the excavator to do some badly needed grading in the yard, but the machine and my limited operating skills weren't up to the task. So I'll have to leave that for another time on a different machine.

I can hardly wait!